Doctor-Donna
by Captain-Space-Link
Summary: My first fanfiction, so it may not be the best. Reviews would be welcome. Doctor and Donna body swap, made mostly for humor. More characters and aliens come in later on, once more chapters are written.
1. Chapter 1 - Pethora

It was just another morning in the TARDIS, which usually meant something insane was going on. Right now, the TARDIS was toppling around, shifting at every angle, jerking through the time vortex.

"What the bloody hell is happening?" Donna shouted as the TARDIS jerked to another side, and she once again clinged onto the TARDIS console.

"Let's just say, I'm never installing an autopilot into the TARDIS _again." _shouted the Doctor, over the crashing noises of furniture coming from Donna's room in the TARDIS.

"Well would you mind finding a way to stop it?" she replied sarcastically.

"Not without having to reboot the TARDIS mainframe, which could strand us on who-knows-what planet." he said.

"And the alternative is infinitely flying in circles?" she said, once again sarcastically.

"...fine." said the Doctor, and he pulled out his sonic screwdriver and temporarily de-activated the TARDIS. "It should reboot in a day or two, so we better make ourselves comfortable. First though, we should figure out where we are." The Doctor walked to the doors and cautiously opened them, and found what appeared to be a thriving futuristic city.

"Oh _great_." he uttered.

"What's wrong? It looks fine." said Donna.

"No, not for me, at least. This is Pethora. This city was one of the most effected by the Time War, being so close to Gallifrey's former location. To keep Time Lords out, they created a gas that could potentially be deadly to me, and they have it spraying out to the city permanently."

"So, you're trapped?" Donna said. "Well, I guess we'll just wait it out here."

"Actually, we're trapped. The city is TARDIS-proof. Completely locked out by time-travelers. The technology to keep it that way is extremely expensive, but is why the city is still standing today."

"Then how did we get in?" Donna replied.

"Must of been the wacky autopilot. Flung us straight at it like throwing a rock at a brick wall. I must of deactivated it right before it hit the shields and boom, we're stuck." Doctor explained.

"Well _fantastic_, stranded in this huge city with a bricked time machine. And you can't even find a way to fix it, because the air is poisonous..." Donna exclaimed out of frustration.

"Well, you could probably find some pieces that bypass the barriers on the black market, but it could be pretty dangerous to find."

"Yeah, I'm not going out there. Is there any way to turn you human or something?"

"Well... kind of." The Doctor jumped to below the console and searched through his huge closet of space junk. "Found it!" He pulled out what looked like two headbands strapped to a large machine, with highly complicated engines covering it. "A mind swapper. Doesn't exactly switch the brains, but it switches the electr-"

"Oh _god..."_ Donna said. "You know what... I'll..." she rolled her eyes then realized she didn't exactly have another choice. "Let's just get it over with."

"Alright, I'll charge it up. First," he pulled out what appeared to be his own suit in woman's sizes "put this on, I don't want to be wearing some spangly skirt." Donna rolled her eyes and put it on in her private closet that she made sure the Doctor got.

"So... ready?" she said, dreadfully.

"Sure." said the Doctor excitedly. He strapped the helmet onto himself and Donna, and activated it. It started the process, making a large, buzzing noise, then everything went black for a minute.

The Doctor woke up nearly a minute later, with the helmet on the floor, and Donna, in his body, nowhere to be seen.

"Seems to have worked". said the Doctor, hearing the familiar voice of Donna come out of his own vocal chords. Odd, he thought. For a second he felt short of breath, but realized her heart worked perfectly fine; she just only had one. He clutched it, but realized that he was awkwardly grabbing her breast. Which is of course, right when Donna came back in his body.

"What do you think _you're _doing, space boy?" she shouted.

"I was feeling my _heart_, Donna, I happen to only have one now." the Doctor replied.

"Oh yeah, yours feels like an interior marching band. I feel so... hyperventilated." she said. "And don't even get me started on your lower body. I do not want to even try going to the loo with that." she, or shouldn't I say _he _shuddered.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well get used to it, we'll be like this for three d-" at that moment, she realized that she never told Donna that a swap could only be done once per every 72 hours.

"Out of all of the things to not tell me about this, you forgot to tell me that?" he said, clearly frustrated. "So I guess I'll stay here, in my space-man body, while you go out and fix the TARDIS?" he said, clearly exasperated.

"Well, yes." she tried to cross his arms, but had a bit trouble with her new curves. "How do I cross my arms, exactly?" she said, gesturing at her new breasts.

Donna rolled her eyes. "You'll get used to it, Doctor. I mean, don't you regenerate yourself every so often too? Aren't you used to major bodily changes?" he said.

"Well, this time I am completely changing species, and gender. Moreso then the average slight change in faces and bodies." the Doctor replied. "I'm surprised you're taking it so well. Or, better then I expected."

"True. But I'd be lying if I said I didn't admit to checking myself in the mirror, I'm not exactly use to major human tranformation."

"No need to be embarrassed, I honestly don't care too much. Well, I guess I'll go off to find a time-lock-proof TARDIS engine. If you get bored, I guess you can phone me." she tossed him a cell phone and walked out of the TARDIS, nearly tripping on her high heels. "Gosh, how do people wear these?


	2. Chapter 2 - The Captain

_Reminder: The Doctor and Donna swapped, but they still go by their original names. However, they go by their body's gender._

The Doctor was not exactly used to Donna's body yet. He walked out of the TARDIS, trying not to trip over his high heels. He has never walked into Pethora before, since it is nearly impossible for a Time-Lord to get in, but she wasn't a Time-Lord anymore. She walked by a bunch of street vendors, all trying to offer her beauty products and jewelry.

'Gosh.' she thought. 'I don't get constantly lured to buy pointless products when I'm male... for the 34th century, I really wish sexist gender roles were gone.' She realized that she forgot her psycic paper back at the TARDIS, but then realized that she stuffed her pockets to the brim. 'Oh, and I miss pockets. I mean, I have pockets, but I could hardly fit a screwdriver in there, not counting the rest of the junk I own. Gosh, been out for 5 minutes and I'm already having problems being female. I haven't even gotten to periods yet...' she thought.

She kept walking, looking for any suspicious looking figures who would happen to sell shield-proof engines for time machines. It was unlikely, but the only chance, besides pushing it by herself, which could be almost impossible. That's when she saw Captain Jack Harkness.

"Hey, Jack! Haven't seen you in a-" she was about to continue when she realized that Jack has never met Donna.

"Um, do I know you?" he asked, probably a bit nervous that she was an angry person from some past one-night stand.

The Doctor realized she had no choice and just admitted "It's me, the Doctor."

Then Jack started to burst out laughing. "It _finally_ happened, didn't it Doctor?"

The Doctor rolled her eyes and explained "I didn't regenerate into a female, it was a mind-swapping machine." Jack just kept laughing until he finally calmed down a bit, and the two eventually sat down at a cafe.

"So, you conveniently turned off the TARDIS right before hitting a time-locked city? Man, talk about bad timing." said Jack, as he sipped down his drink.

"Well, yeah. And of course, with our bad luck, it is a city that could kill me if I walked through it in my own body." said the Doctor. "So, happen to have a solution to our TARDIS problem?" she asked.

"Yep. My vortex manipulator is time-lock-proof, so I'll just hook it up to the TARDIS engine, which should give us big enough of a boost to leave." said Jack.

"Great! Let's head to the TARDIS." the Doctor got up and left the bill on the table, then left out with Jack, towards the small street corner where the TARDIS was left. She burst in and Jack followed after her.

"Thank god you finally came Doctor. I've been getting so flippin' restless in this metallic hellhole-" he stopped when he saw Jack enter the TARDIS. "Who is this?..."

"Donna, Jack Harkness, Jack Harkness, Donna" said the Doctor gesturing them to each other. "Though to make this first impression more accurate," he said to Jack, "imagine her as me."

"Er... hello. Did the Doctor know you before, or are you some complete stranger?" Donna said, clearly worried.

"Of course I knew him. And he happens to have a time-lock-proof vortex manipulator, which we'll use to get out of here." she said. Jack hooked up his vortex manipulator to the TARDIS, and then the Doctor tried to kickstart the TARDIS.

"Might I say Donna, your regular body is pretty damn attractive." Jack said.

"Oh shut up, I know your type of bloke who takes advantage of me for se-"

The Doctor intervened, "Actually, Jack basically finds everybody attractive, both inside and out. I'm pretty sure that his goal in life is to shag everyone in the universe."

Jack shrugged. "He definately isn't lying."

Donna still rolled her eyes until she realized that the TARDIS was finally leaving. "Almost... ready..." said the Doctor as it was charging up, gradually pulling a lever on the TARDIS console, causing it to make and irritating buzzing noise. After a few seconds of anticipation, the TARDIS flew off out of Pethora at usual top speed.

"Sheesh. I'm never going there again." said the Doctor, with a huge breath of relief. He sat down in a chair, actually getting a bit tired, for once. Must of been the human body. "So, where should we spend the next three days?"

"I'd prefer to stay away from my home, so you don't go all 'science-geek-space-man' in front of my friends." Donna said. "And I'd rather not go to them myself as a freakish alien."

"How about California? It has the best boardwalks, and I doubt you'll run into anyone you know, and you guys can meet my Torchwood team, who is investigating there at the moment." said Jack. "Well, at least in the summer of 2009, they were."

"Well, I guess we don't _know_ them, per say." said Donna, unsure. "Eh, let's go. Can't be that bad. At least there probably isn't many aliens in America." said Donna. Little did she know yet, she was wrong.


	3. Chapter 3 - Cardiff

**Sorry that the update took so long! I've been distracted lately with life things, and this is my first fanfiction so I'm having some trouble with it. Please enjoy and review!**

The Doctor, Donna, and Jack were in the TARDIS, as it was zooming back towards Earth, when there was a sudden jerk, knocking down the trio.

"What just happened?" Jack questioned.

"I'm not sure." said the Doctor. She pulled out her sonic and scanned the console, to figure out what was going on. "Well, this is interesting. We're getting pulled in by some tractor beam..."

"Tractor beam? What is this, Star Trek?" said Donna.

"No... this is very weird." said the Doctor. "I think it would be best if we DIDN'T let this pull us in." The Doctor started jumping around the console, pulling levers and twisting knobs, trying to get them out of the tractor beam from whatever alien species is trying to capture them. "I could use a little help!" she shouted over the buzzing of the TARDIS.

"What exactly are we supposed to do?" asked Jack.

"I don't know, _SOMETHING?!" _she shouted desperately of the grinding of levers.

Donna ran over and locked the TARDIS door, making sure no aliens would get in once they landed.

"It isn't stopping!" Jack shouted.

"I CAN TELL!" The Doctor shouted over the struggling of the TARDIS.

Then Donna looked at Jack's vortex manipulator hooked up to the console. She grabbed it, pulled Donna and Jack by her, and slapped a few buttons on the vortex manipulator, hoping it would take them somewhere safer.

They landed in the middle of an empty plaza in the middle of the night in Cardiff, England.

The Doctor turned around at his own body and shouted "Donna, what have you done? Now some completely unknown alien species can have the TARDIS and do who-knows-what!" He felt very odd yelling at himself, and it was even stranger having himself insult him back.

"I locked it right before I teleported us, you idiot." Donna shouted.

"Even then, how are we supposed to get all of the way to North America and get the TARDIS back?"

"Um... I happen to have a time-travelling device, too. That we just used." Jack pointed out.

"Okay, that was stupid of me... must be the human body." The Doctor said.

"I made a mistake, must be the alien body." Donna replied.

"Don't get mad at him, he has always used insulting other species as a stress reliever." Jack said.

"I wouldn't be acting all sassy, Doctor. You may have two-hearts and all, but certain parts of your body shouldn't even account for one." Donna said with a slight smirk.

"Don't you even go there..."

Jack, believe it or not, tried to intervene. "Guys, shouldn't we be heading back to where the TARDIS should be?"

"...good point. But we should probably figure out what exactly was trying to capture us, first."

"Don't worry, we can use the Torchwood base." said Jack, leading them to the secret bunker in Cardiff. They were a pretty odd site to at nearly midnight, but not many people actually questioned strange happenings in Cardiff.

Once they arrived, Jack was sure to tell them something first. "If anyone is there, just pretend to be each other. Honestly, this case already is pretty confusing and we don't need any more confusion then there is." The Doctor and Donna understood, but weren't too worried, as they didn't expect anyone to be in there. They were wrong.

"Oh, hello Jack! What are you doing here?" Ianto greeted from the door. "I thought you were out for the next few weeks."

"I thought the same. Weren't you all investigating in California?" Jack asked.

"American government got to it first." he heard Owen reply in the room. "Typical."

"Who is this?" Ianto asked, gesturing at the Doctor and Donna.

"This is the Doctor, and his companion, Donna." said Jack.

"So _this_ is the Doctor!" Ianto said, shaking hands with the Doctor's body. "It's an honor to finally meet you." he said. Owen, Gwen, and Tosh walked up to meet the Doctor too, since they have heard so much about him from Jack.

"Um... I'm here, too." said the actual Doctor, in Donna's body. 'Are my friends always so ignored like this?' he thought, slightly moody.

"Oh, nice to meet you too, Donna." Ianto shook her hand too.

"We're kind of in trouble. Our TARDIS was being pulled in by a tractor beam or something... and..." Donna tried to explain what was going on, but they just looked at him, slightly confused.

"Er, I'll explain." interrupted the Doctor. "The Doctor has a... headache right now." she said the first thing that came into her head.

"Time lords can have headaches?" Gwen said, a bit surprised.

"A... space one?" Donna said, getting embarrassed.

"A tractor beam was pulling in the TARDIS and we couldn't escape, so we used the vortex manipulator to come here and get help." Jack intervened, looking at how awkward Donna and the Doctor were.

"Oh, I see. It's easy, we can just plug in Jack's vortex manipulator here and we can track down what was being emitted right before you guys teleported here." Tosh said, booting up the Torchwood mainframe. While Jack and Tosh hooked up the system, the Doctor and Donna hung out in the back.

"It's nice to finally meet an alien who _doesn't_ want to kill us." Gwen joked.

"I know. I've been chased by bloody aliens for the past year I've been with-" Donna stopped for a second and corrected himself "Donna. I happen to see aliens more often with... Donna." Donna leaned in and whispered to the Doctor "We really need to meet them again after we're back."

"Yes. Please. You're so emberassing." the Doctor replied.

"I'm not _that_ bad..." Donna replied. "Okay, I admit, I am."

"What are you guys talking about?" Owen interrupted.

The Doctor realized that they have been talking way too loud and replied "I'm just gonna say it. I'm the Doctor, and this is Donna."

"Wait... wha-"

"We had a row with a temporary mind-swapping device. We didn't want to bring it up because it would cause too much confusion."

"Yeah. Do you guys happen to have one that is fully charged?" Donna asked.

"Even if they do, we need to wait to prevent any da-"

"I'd rather have brain damage then have to listen to your double hearts anymore!" Donna shouted. "It's like a mariachi band in your stomach. How can you live with it?!"

Gwen, Owen, and Ianto just stared awkwardly while they argued, until Jack and Tosh called them back to the computer.

"The tractor beam..." said Tosh, decoding the lines of computer code. "Appears to be from a Cybermen pod." The team, having bad experiences from cybermen, winced.

"It's a good thing we escaped, then." the Doctor said.

"I told you..." Donna said, and the Doctor laughed.

"Well then..." Jack grabbed the vortex manipulator and put it on his wrist, and then went into one of the weapon closets and pulled out a large pistol. "Time to kick some cybermen ass."


	4. Chapter 4 - Cybermen

**Sorry that this took so long! Been very busy and distracted with school and responsibilities lately, so unfortunately fanfiction has been low priority. :/ Please enjoy, though! Thanks for the follows and reviews!**

"So what exactly IS our plan, Jack? Just... shoot them?" questioned the Doctor.

"Well, what do you want to do? Be all peaceful and make tea with them?" Jack replied, offering the Doctor a gun, but she immediately turned it down.

"No, but I am entirely against the use of guns!" she swatted the gun away, only for Donna in the Doctor's body to grab it.

"Guess you'll be defenseless. Let's lock and load on these robot bastards." Donna said.

"So, our plan is for me and alien-Donna to shoot the ever-living crap out of the cybermen while human-Doctor tries to make peace with them?" Jack joked, met by more eye-rolls from Donna's head.

"We'll see if there is even that many cybermen to deal with in the first place. If there are just a few, we dodge past em and make a run to the TARDIS. If there is a larger hoard, that is when we get violent." The Doctor said. "Just remember, getting back to the TARDIS should be our first priority, unless lives are at stake." They all nodded in agreement and pulled back out the vortex-manipulator.

"Got the exact coordinates?"

"Yep. Let's go." Jack typed them in and then they zapped off into the unknown.

They arrived in what looked like a very empty warehouse, completely barren besides some dust and mold. The trio landed in a particularly damp slate of ground in the abandon warehouse. The trio sneaked through, searching for any signs of the TARDIS or cyber-men.

"It seems... empty." Donna whispered. A moment later, they heard metallic footsteps coming from a hall east from where they were standing. "Great, I jinxed it..."

The cyber-man walked into the room, and immediately an alarm was set off. Seconds later, hundreds of other cyber-men walked into the abandon warehouse.

"Well... shit." Jack said. He lifted his gun, but the Doctor lowered it.

"Yeah, let's shoot a few of them, and provoke the rest of them. GREAT idea."

"You have been identified as the Doctor." said one of them who was apparently chief cyber-men. "You shall be taken into custody immediately."

"What? Oh, no-" before Donna could reply, two other cybermen grabbed him by the arms and dragged the Doctor's body into a nearby cell.

"The spare shall be converted into cybermen to join our ranks." then, four other cybermen dragged away the Doctor and Jack. They dragged them into an empty hall leading up to a device that would fully turn them into cybermen, when Jack pulled back out the gun and shot off their heads, and then he turned around and did the same to the ones holding the Doctor. Followed by the sound of gunshot, was the sound of clanking footsteps.

"They heard us. ...we should run." Jack and the Doctor dashed in the opposite direction. As they ran, Jack tossed Donna's body a gun. "I know you're all anti-violence and all, but now isn't exactly the time for that philosophy."

"Why would they take my body for hostage? What would they need with it?" The Doctor said.

"Well, don't you know how to destroy cyber-men? How to pilot the TARDIS? The possibilities are endless."

"I just hope that Donna is okay..."

Meanwhile, Donna was being brought to a small shack outside of the warehouse, which the TARDIS and the tractor beam that pulled it in were sitting in.

"We command the Doctor to open the TARDIS." said the cyber-men chief, in the monotone voice.

"Um... okay." Donna pulled out some keys from jacket pocket, and slowly unlocked the TARDIS.

"Now you must pilot the TARDIS to the largest nearby mass of humans." continued the cyberman.

"Make me..." Donna muttered, but as soon as he said it, the two cybermen that dragged her in started aiming their lazers straight at his head.

"Oh, okay. I just have to... flick the... uh... switch... then..." Donna tried her best to replicate what he usually saw the Doctor do, and managed to get the TARDIS to hover a little into the air. "So... now I..." he slightly turned a small nozel on the console and the TARDIS flicked forward, knocking down the shack it was sitting in. Then a thought popped in her head. "Sorry, it always does that when you go a small distance... the biggest nearby city is close, I swear." She kept steering the TARDIS through the warehouse's halls as carefully as he could, considering the TARDIS's jerkiness in small areas.

Jack and the Doctor were sneaking through the hall at the same time, when they actually heard the TARDIS.

"Oh, she didn't..." the Doctor said, and one moment later, the TARDIS crashed in, jerking from side to side, almost hitting the Doctor and actually hitting Jack. She could only imagine what was going on in there. "DONNA! I'M RIGHT HERE!"

Donna heard those shouts from inside the TARDIS, and realized that he didn't even know how to land this thing. "Um... how do I land?"

"Who are you communicating with?" said the multiple cyber-men in unison.

"Doctor? I don't know how to land this! I might need back-up!" At that moment, the TARDIS was starting to spin at increasingly dangerous speeds.

The Doctor sighed and picked up a gun from Jack's body, lying bloody on the floor from the collision. She waited and waited for the perfect moment, then jumped and busted through the front door of the TARDIS. The two cyber-men turned at the Doctor, but before they could aim at her, she shot their arms off.

"I _hate_ having to do this." she said as she dragged the bodies off and threw them out of the TARDIS. After that, she slowed down the TARDIS and temporarily landed it.

Donna opened the door again and saw Jack lying on the floor in front of them. "Oh my god... did I hit Jack?" Donna said, looking outside at Jack, bloody on the floor. One second later, Jack woke from his death, causing Donna to jump. "My god... sorry about that. Forgot that you're immortal and all of that..."

"No problem, now we can get out of here." Jack replied, and soon after that, they heard more clanking footsteps of cybermen in the halls.

"Good idea, Jack." the Doctor said, as he piloted the TARDIS off into the air.


End file.
